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Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Runner (Girl) Problems - Edition: Sports Bras

On Sunday morning I awoke with the beginnings of what felt like a sore throat, but it was minimal and I didn't notice it at all during my half marathon. Yesterday, though, my sinuses were jammed, my throat felt swollen, and I spent the day in a bit of a hazy mind fog as I navigated through the Valentine's festivities and emotions of seeing all my old photographs again.

By the time I got myself out the door for running group with my daughter, I was congratulating myself on remembering to put on my running shoes and for simply finding my keys. But shortly thereafter, I realized I forgot something pretty important. What exactly, you ask, did I forget?

I was about one quarter of a mile into my run, chatting with a friend, when I felt my bra strap sliding down toward my shoulder. Without thinking, I reached over and readjusted the strap when it dawned on me with complete horror that I was wearing a normal, everyday bra instead of a sports bra.

Yes, that's right. I forgot to wear a sports bra yesterday. Those of you fellow athletes with a C-cup or larger can probably understand just how ridiculous I felt upon this realization. I'm not a very big person, but I'm curvy enough that wearing a regular bra is nowhere near enough support to run comfortably. My saving grace were my two fitted layers plus a reflective vest that probably helped keep things somewhat in place, and the fact that I wasn't feeling well enough to run more than a 5K.

So, there I was running and doing my darnedest to keep my posture upright and my shoulders squared as I resisted the urge to constantly adjust the underwire that was miserably soaking in the sweat and rubbing uncomfortably on my ribcage. If my daughter and her friend weren't running directly behind me within earshot, I likely would have confessed the absurdity to my friend and then proceeded to laugh hard enough to get a side ache. Instead, our conversation went something like this:
Friend:   That house you rented for Hood to Coast looks amazing!
Me:        Holding shoulders rigid with constipated-looking anal-retentiveness. Oh I know! I was so stoked to find it. I think most teams are procrastinating on booking, so there were a ton of great places to choose from. [Thinking: Oh crap! There's another runner coming towards us. Are my boobs bouncing all over the place?]
Friend:   It's great that it has a hot tub. That'll be perfect for after the race.
Me:        Oh my gosh, I know. There were a couple other comparable places, but come on, the hot tub won me over. [Thinking: I feel sweat trickling down. Oh no! SPARE ME, PLEASE! Don't burn the chafed skin just under my boobs from the half marathon! OMG IT'S FREAKING BURNING! My own sweat hates me!]
Friend:  And it looks like there are plenty of beds for everyone, which is awesome.
Me:        [Thinking: Oh no... OH NO! It's slipping again! My boob is going to fall off! The burning... the burning won't stop. Someone just put me out of my misery.Trying to inconspicuously adjust my right bra strap. Yes, so much better than trying to sleep on some crappy pullout couch. [Thinking: How on Earth did I manage to forget to put on a sports bra? I'm an idiot.]
Anyway, you get the picture. The whole thing would have been hilarious had I not been feeling under the weather and miserably uncomfortable from this weekend's chafing, which brings me to my complaint of the day: Why oh why can't I find a comfortable, high-impact sports bra that doesn't chafe my ribcage during a half marathon? I've tried several different ones, but there's always a seam or something about the fabric that irritates my ridiculously sensitive skin. Forget anything involving exposed elastic, and I hate adjustable straps because they either involve those cheap plastic hooks that pop open mid-run and dig into my back, or because they adjust with velcro, which leaves a lump that always hits my collar bones in the wrong way. Anti-chafe cream helps, but it doesn't get rid of the problem entirely.

The Gap used to make a sports bra that I loved, but sadly, they stopped making them a few years ago. Now, those bras are so old that the thread on the seams leave raw skin after more than a few miles.
Did you really expect me to stick to boring underwear colors?
One of these days I fear I'm just going to have to design my own sports bra, but I'm fairly pathetic with a sewing machine and I'd prefer to not reinvent the wheel. If anyone has a favorite sports bra that they swear by, I'd love a few suggestions.

1 comment:

  1. LMAO at the conversation with your friend + what you were actually thinking. :-D

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